Thursday, April 21, 2011

R is for Reed

Early last week, I was in Boca Raton with Tyler. He was on business. Since I hadn't had a day off since early January, I figured it was worth it for me to go with him to the lovely Boca Resort and sit on the beach for three days while he worked. (grins)

Because I shared a room and all of the amenities with him, I was known by everyone at the Boca resort as Ms. Reed.

The assumption was interesting. Not a bad one because we are getting married next May. But interesting. Perhaps even more interesting was that the rental car was under my name and Tyler was assumed to be Mr. Sarno. I liked that.

Of course, we have had the name-change discussion. Tyler has no strong opinions on the subject. I can't imagine being someone other than Melissa Sarno, particularly in my professional life. I've already made the decision that if I ever get published..oh wait, thoughts become things...I mean when I get published, it will be under Melissa Sarno. That's a done deal. And there will be no hyphenating. I'm not interested in that.

So, the professional aspect aside, the idea of being Melissa Reed put it eloquently...tripping me out.

But these assumptions really put things in perspective. If I don't change my name in my personal life, I will forever be called Ms. Reed anyway. If we have children, they will be probably be known as Reeds and everyone will assume I'm the Mama Reed. And everybody in South Florida already thinks I'm a Reed anyway.

So, maybe Reed is a done deal without my say. Maybe I don't even have to officially change it because people will just be calling me a Reed and I'll go with the flow. And Reed is actually quite a nice name. It's not like I'd be going to Lipschitz or something (sorry if I offended anyone named Lipschitz, but you know that's tough, right?)

I wonder what all of you think of the name change. Have you or your spouse had to change your name when you tied the knot? Was it an easy decision?


  1. That's an interesting question. I'm not married, but here in Spain the woman doesn't change her surname. However, both surnames get passed over to the children of the couple (I think that's how it works!). So if I were to marry a Spanish man, I'd always have the same surname.I think that it's good, because I would always have my own identity.

    Then again, if you do decide to change your name, Melissa Reed has a certain ring to it!

  2. I didn't change my name, didn't even think about doing it, and my husband was fine with it. Some of his relatives will address envelopes to us as Mr. and Mrs. his-name, which doesn't bother me, but he gets annoyed when people call him Mr. Pickrell (hah).

  3. Melissa, I'm so much older than you. I first got married in 1969 and changed my name. And when I remarried, I changed my name. It's just what people did. It's interesting to think that people will think of you as Reed whether or not that's your legal name.

  4. I don't think I could ever call you anything but Sarno. But I still call LJQ that even though she's now LJM.... so I can work with whatever you decide!

  5. Well, I was in the era of name change, I am afraid. It does not bother me, but I agree that you should definitely keep Sarno for publishing. Your name sounds as if it belongs to an author already - advantage, methinks!

  6. I was married in 1976 and changed my name...although at the time it was trendy to keep your name or hyphenate. For me, I was happy to have a new name. And a new life.

  7. I got married in 1988 and I changed my name. I was soooo young. I don't think I had an identity yet. LOL! My last name was having a new more interesting name was a pleasant change. I'm fairly traditional, so even if my last name was Windsor I probably would have taken Walter's last name.

  8. first of all, congrats on the upcoming marriage- 2 months away, or 14?

    well, i was happy to ditch my maiden name of hicks and trade up to arista, which i LOVE. kerri arista flows so much better, and hello? arista record label!!!

    you've got a great name already tho, and i understand wanting to continue to go by that, at least professionally.