In some ways I feel the blog has lost some of its focus in the past few months, if there ever was a focus. I have struggled, wondered what the blog is supposed to be, if it's supposed to be anything at all. So I just kind of wandered around, wrote about things I saw or felt, about books I read, or whatever strange thought came to mind.
One topic I have avoided like the plague? Writing.
So. I owe ya.
Searching For An Agent
At the end of January I had finished my novel, Rabbit Island. It took me a lot to get there. I wrote the book. I re-wrote the book. Then I re-wrote huge portions of the book. And then I worked through edits based on critique. Since then, I have searched for an agent slowly. This is my career. I want an agent who represents the kind of work I like. And I want the *best* (for me. Which may not be the best for you.)
Some of the best rejected me based on my query alone. Some of the best requested my work, read it, and then rejected me. Some of the best are still reading.
So, it's a slow process.
Most of the time it hurts my heart to be a part of this process. Sometimes, it doesn't hurt. And, really, that's the only way I can think to describe the past few months searching for an agent.
Searching For A Working/Writing Life
I think some of you know I work full time in the wacky world of children's media. Beyond that full time employment, I have taken on additional writing projects in order to learn as much as I can and expand my network and my writing abilities.
I'm still searching for the right balance between writing fiction, working in the corporate world of children's media, and working on other writing projects that challenge and inspire me beyond 9-5. It's been an interesting, if exhausting, exploration.
Searching For A Story
Throughout all this, I began writing a new novel. I fell in love with the idea but I struggled with the voice, the tense, the pace, the, well, everything. I wrote 10,000 words and rejected every last one. I wrote 10,000 new words and, then, I just...stopped.
I started another new novel. I fell in love with the idea and then I read a book that did it better. I wrote 5,000 words and, then, I just...stopped.
Searching For A Book
I never wanted to admit this here.
At the beginning of May I just...stopped writing. (Not counting all the writing I do 9-5. The writing projects I took on in the evenings and weekends. And the writing I do on this blog.)
The truth is, and I'm ashamed to say it, I lost a lot of confidence while querying and I was burnt out as I tried to search for a way to organize my working/writing life.
So. I stopped.
And I did something else. I began to read.
And I'm still reading.
And every time I think, Melissa, you should be writing. I tell myself, Melissa, you should be reading.
I'm reading books I once loved. I'm reading books I want to know if I love. I'm understanding the stories I want to tell. And when I'm ready, I'll write.
So, that's my writing update. I'm not writing.
It's your turn. Where are you with your writing? Are you on any kind of search?