Friday, March 2, 2012

Allowing Yourself To Dream

I've been feeling cautious, lately.  Trying to manage my expectations.  I've wanted to publish a book since I was a little girl.  Sometimes, I see that desire as being too grand.  To want something so badly isn't healthy.  It leads to disappointment.

In recent weeks, I've forced myself to be so conservative in my thinking that when I send my writing off to anyone, my attitude borders on self-flagellation.

So, this morning, when I read this blog post from my amazing friend Sharon, in which she left us with the question, What will you do when you get a book deal? I immediately shut down.  This is not the way to think, I warned myself.  These are not the visions to have.

But a little girl, like the one I was, did not question her dreams.  She stated them loudly.  She talked fast and made big hand gestures as she fidgeted with them.  She didn't wonder what others thought of them.  She did not strategize about how to achieve them.  She said what will happen before she could possibly know what will happen. 

And so, today, in an effort to honor that girl, I will allow myself to answer Sharon's question.

I will immediately go outside because I really like to be outside.  Even if I'm supposed to be at work.  Even it's raining.  Even if it's cold.  I will not care.  I will go outside and be happy with the news.  I will call the people I love.  I will find the ones nearby and tell them out loud.  I will have champagne.  And I will eat the most expensive cheese I can find.


  1. I hear you on the hesitation. It's like answering the question, "What will you do when you win the lottery?"

    You listen to your old self though!

  2. I have a sister who believes strongly in positive affirmations and she's always lecturing me about thinking positive with my dreams instead of negative. She would be proud of your affirmation and would tell you to keep saying that over and over, because that helps it become real! (btw, this same sister kept saying a few years back, "I just want to earn $21,000 in 3 months." She now earns about $20,000 in ONE month.)

  3. I think there is something powerful about telling your self over and over that it WILL happen! I just don't put a time table on it, so I don't get disappointed.

  4. Wow, I would join you on all but the champagne! It WILL happen, Melissa! It WILL!

  5. I'll toast you when that day comes. And it WILL, for you and for me. : )

  6. It's funny how we stop putting a voice to our dreams when we reach a certain age. I know I did, a long time ago (of course I'm much, much older than you.)

    I love the plan you have for your private celebration :) I will join you in spirit when it happens!

  7. I have so many rejections for my book. At this moment an agent (who requested the full manuscript) is reading it. I go through these wild swings of, "She's going to hate it. It's so bad. It's not going to happen - be prepared." I say this b/c when my expectations are so high, it's so far to fall. But at the back of my mind I'm also hearing, "This is what you are supposed to do. This is going to be the one..." So I keep submitting. I'm thicker skinned from rejection. My writing has gotten better. It's true what every single author says, it's only the ones who keep going that make it. Keep writing!

  8. I will smile. I will smile like a fool and I will go somewhere in public, possibly somewhere with really great food, and I will smile at everyone in there. And I will keep smiling for the next few days.

    And then I will probably panic about what on earth I'll write next, and how can I ever write anything better than the thing I just wrote, and where will I find the time, and what if my ideas are bad, etc., etc., because I am really, REALLY awesome at panicking. ;)

    Sometimes I allow myself to dream, because it's fun, but I've learned to keep the dreams in their own little separate compartment of my brain, one that has nothing to do with my self-esteem and self-worth. It's been a hard lesson, but worth it. Now to work on that panic...

  9. And that is what you should do. Definitely.
    I have problems with the celebration of success (not that I have any major achievements) and tend to shrink before opening up to enjoy or celebrate. Also, I have to think myself into a 'self promotional' rôle which, with books, one has to do.

    Incidentally, I am looking forward to the day when you announce this ... and that day will come, Melissa.

  10. I really like what Angela said about allowing the dream and not putting a time table on it. :)

    I'm glad you enjoyed my post and that it made you think about accepting your dreams. :)

    I can't wait to hear when you get that call. :) (And of course, I'll eat some posh cheese in your honor.)

  11. That sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate, Melissa! :) And don't give up - I'd love to read a book by you!

  12. Embrace your dreams, Melissa! And visualize that day of celebration--let those feelings buoy you till that day comes, because it will.