I've been thinking a little bit about competition these days. I haven't really competed in anything seriously since high school when I participated in a variety of sports teams. And after high school, I no longer participated in those sports. I never became competitive about grades at the university or climbing the corporate ladder in the work place.
Even now, I participate in activities that challenge no one but myself. I bike, not to win races, but to prove to myself that I can climb a hill or go a distance I never thought I could. And I write stories only to prove to myself that I can.
As I thought about this, I noticed a trend. In a way, I'm always in a competition between the Melissa, last week, and the Melissa, this week. The Melissa, this week, wants to win. She wants to bike a little farther. To get up the hill a little faster. To write a better story than the last one. Everything is an inner competition that doesn't involve anyone else.
I wonder about that. Are you a competitive person? Do you compete with others? Or yourself?
Sickeningly competitive, but I think no one would ever guess. However, I am genuinely happy for the success of others, and when it comes to writing, I rarely read a book thinking, "I could do that." With writing, I'm more inspired by others and compete w/myself.
ReplyDeletei think i might be so competitive that i actually avoid it all together. even when i'm just playing a board game with friends, i tend to get a racing heart, feel like i want to scream out, "hurry up!!" to the person slowing the game down (when it isn't me)
ReplyDeletei never tried out for anything in highschool b/c i was afraid i wouldn't make it. i regret my lack of involvement and how that held me back.
i do wish i never felt competitive and that i could remember that another persons win, or success doesn't take anything away from me. (does it?!)
I'm extremely competitive, but I've found that when I try to compete against other people, it makes me unhappy. The playing field is never level. So I only compete against myself, and then I'm always accomplishing *my* goals, whatever those goals may be.
ReplyDelete