What's Up Wednesday

I thought I'd try this weekly meme because I've been struggling with what to write in this space. I always want to be here, writing posts, sharing thoughts, but then I find myself at a terrible loss, staring at the blank screen. As a result, as a default, as you've probably noticed, melancholy Melissa comes out to play on the blog.  As in, everyone is skipping and patty-caking, and I'm all, look at the dead bird.

So. Let's try this. Shall we?

What I'm Reading

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. This book is fascinating. I've lived a good, long, life wondering why I feel uncomfortable in many social situations and, the more I read, the more I understand what's behind a lot of this discomfort: an extrovert ideal, a shift that took place in the 1920's and has permeated society since. Now, I understand why the stimulus of Toy Fair sends me into a panic. I know the psychology behind my coping mechanism at cocktail parties.  I get why I can not thrive in office brainstorms. All of these 'shortcomings' have really upset me in the past and now the awkward puzzle pieces finally fit. I've been forced to fit my personality into an ideal that doesn't suit who I am. Major. Enlightenment. I'm going to have a lot to say about this book when I finish.

What I'm Writing

I'm working on revisions with my agent for RABBIT ISLAND to prepare for submission (!)  I've begun research for, what shall be known from here on out as, The Oyster Book.

What Inspires Me Right Now

Let's see...the power of introverts, oysters, friends who live their dreams, the complexity of sky, rediscovering Amy Winehouse's Back to Black Album, the lyric I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside.  And as always, New York City, its two rivers, my writing tree in bloom, mornings on the subway rattling, bunched up, next to, near a stranger.

What Else I've Been Up To

I traveled briefly to sunny Florida and wandered through a professional golf tournament this past weekend. I read and have been inspired by the manuscripts of friends. I received deliveries and library alerts of books by women I admire.  I've gone to work each day. I look for new work. There have been dinners with friends, first birthday parties. Our first anniversary approaches, soon to reflect on a year as wife.

Well. Look at that. I liked doing this meme very much.

What's up with you this Wednesday?

For more What's Up Wednesday, check it out: here.

Beyond the Fair

Yesterday was a full, whirlwind day.  Long meetings in the morning, walking the floor of the Javits Center for the annual American International Toy Fair in the afternoon, then running off to a workshop in the evening to learn about writing the news for kids.

Toy fair is a fluorescent lit, starburst try-me shout, wow wow, look here spectacle.  Never good for someone who has a fear of crowded spaces, who panics when over-stimulated with bright lights and loud noises.

At some point, I became delirious, nearly falling over in tearful laughter when someone pointed out a baby-doll with a toilet and a little poop inside it that disappears when you flush, leaving me with flashbacks of a doll I had as a little girl, who came with green-slime baby food that went straight through her pliable pink lips and out her butt into a diaper, which was both thrilling and repulsive at the same time.  

So with head aching, armpits sweating (crowds, crowds, too many crowds), thinking about rubber-bodied baby dolls regurgitating green slime, I found myself in some dark corner of baby sippy-cups with flexible handles and looked up.  Windows.  I had forgotten the Javits Center had windows. I could see sky. And the hint of some gray cloud.

Of course I shouldn't have, of course I'm sure that my badge didn't allow access there, but I walked behind the black curtain skirting this building of trade booths, and there, beyond the spit up and break down of the show behind the show, beyond carts and boxes and tape and scrap, beyond a building of people buying and selling and shouting the magic of play or childhood or something so irrevocably lost it hurts my heart, was one of the most beautiful sunsets I'd ever seen.    

Toys and Puppies

I'm fuzzy today.  Nose stuffed, ears clogged, throat scratchy.  Most likely the result of every member of my team at work being sick.  

But it promises to be a whirlwind week because of New York City Toy Fair (massive sensory overload.) And it also happens to be what I have dubbed 'the most wonderful time of the year' (and I full-out sing the carol as I prance to Madison Square Garden) i.e. the week The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show comes to to town. 

I will be attending toy fair for work.  There are dinners, meetings, and hours spent walking the Javits Center floor.  I'll also attend the dog show tomorrow, as I do every year, a most romantic Valentine's date with Sudafed and tissues, trying to figure out how best to smuggle an Alaskan Malamute out the door.  Perhaps it is too emotional of a time for me to attend because I will still be reeling from the news that our landlords refuse to allow us to adopt a dog, which we were seriously considering, until they put the proverbial foot down just this past Saturday.

But we march on.

Every year these events fall within days of eachother.  This year they overlap.  It is an embarrassment of riches. 

Being overwhelmed with toys and puppies is not a bad way to live.