Have two characters introduce each other using only dialogue—no backstory, no internalization, just dialogue between the two. Max 250 words.
I just went for it, script style.
CLAIRE: What is this?
JEREMIAH: A painting.
CLAIRE: Like graffiti?
JEREMIAH: No... A painting.
CLAIRE: How do you get each swirl to match so perfectly? How do you line it up?
JEREMIAH: It's in the wrist. You have to do it quickly. Wanna try?
CLAIRE: I can't.
JEREMIAH: Of course you can.
CLAIRE: No really. I can't. I'm useless.
JEREMIAH: It's easy. Try it.
CLAIRE: Trust me. I'll ruin it.
JEREMIAH: It's not like anyone'll see. No one ever comes through.
CLAIRE: Then why do you bother?
JEREMIAH: I like it along the canal. It's quiet. Still. I can think.
CLAIRE: Me too. It think it's beautiful.
JEREMIAH: The water's toxic, ya know.
CLAIRE: No. Your painting. I like it.
I love it! I want to know more about these two and what they are up to. :)
ReplyDeletei like it, too. This is a great window into both characters.
ReplyDeleteI want the conversation to go on. Very neat dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI REALLY like this. It's short but incredibly consise. And even though I know very little about these two, I already want to read more about them (and where they are!)
ReplyDelete~JD
Wow. This was great to get so much across in just that short little bit. I love Claire already!
ReplyDeleteAwesomesauce!
I want to see this painting of the canal! : )
ReplyDeleteOh, I like it too. Nice job. I want to know what they're painting. And you showed their relationship so well it just the few words.
ReplyDeleteAww, cute ending when Claire said she liked Jeremiah's painting. And I loved that Jeremiah comes to the canal to think and have some quiet time. I also loved the opening where Jeremiah points out it's a painting not graffiti?
ReplyDeleteThanks Clare :) These characters are new to me, so it's been very exciting to write these posts.
DeleteLove it! I really liked how you showed complexity of the characters in so few words. Great job!
ReplyDeleteAw, this gave me butterflies! Great work with this! ^_^
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Jackie! :)
DeleteI really like the setting. I can picture it well. (I know this is about the characters but this is what I was thinking about!)
ReplyDeleteI love it Melissa :) So vibrant--the characters and the setting! Well done.
ReplyDeleteInteresting! What he is using as his painting medium and how he is painting is subtly suggested. I like it!
ReplyDeleteI really like the last two lines! Claire needs more confidence! I'm sure she's a great painter!
ReplyDeleteAs JoLynn says, it is a great window into both characters. "The water's toxic, you know" is a striking line, Roland
ReplyDeleteInteresting exchange. I like the way you introduced the characters while showing us pieces of their vibrant, multi dimensional personalities.
ReplyDeleteAs Justine says, it's very concise -- which is great for writing a screenplay! I learned a lot about being more concise from trying to cut 10 pages off a screenplay.
ReplyDeleteAnd in just a few words, you've managed to convey quite a bit about these two characters. I would definitely want to keep reading about these two!
That was a cute exchange. :)
ReplyDeleteThe end, "The water is toxic..." my favorite part. Good job!
ReplyDeleteGreat back and forth. Natural.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan! :)
DeleteThis feels so effortless. So real. Very well done!
ReplyDelete*new follower* So nice to *meet* you!
I appreciate you taking the time to talk about them with people.
ReplyDeleteI could really feel the tenderness between these two characters. I really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteI love that you incorporated setting through dialogue!
ReplyDeleteThis was a relaxing one to read. I like painting by the water too so I can relate. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stephen! I felt totally chilled out while reading this, and even though on the surface it doesn't seem like much happened, it gave a very telling look into the characters. Lovely stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kyra! That's what I was going for!
DeleteWell done, I enjoyed this!
ReplyDelete