Let People Be Who They Are

You let people be who they are. I read this in Then Again, Diane Keaton's memoir (which I enjoyed, which I recommend.) Goldie Hawn had said it, claiming to have reached a time in her life when this was possible.  It struck me because of what a complex idea it is, stated with such simplicity.

I woke up thinking about this kind of acceptance, what it means to let go of my expectations of others (and myself).  There have been many times in my life when I have wanted to question people, their motivations, why they behave a certain way.  It's not something I do often (though of course I have, we all have, haven't we?)  If someone is unkind, should we not tell that person?  You kicked the puppy!  Why did you kick the puppy?!   

I wonder, how important is it to question who a person is, to fight it?

I don't know.  It's complicated, like I said.  Not so simple, right?  What do you think?

Expectations

This morning I woke up to a radio show and a question was posed: "Would you eat your own booger for $25?"

I think that set up the day, the strangeness of it, the way the sky darkened and shook and emptied.  The way I sat in a meeting and it seemed it wasn't one meeting but many, with the way conversations spun, so many at once, and then, suddenly, all eyes were on us as we stood up with our toy mechanism, with its brand new batteries, its shiny coat of paint, and the motor and the accompanying audio simply, without explanation, wouldn't work.  But it had worked. And it would work, again, of course, after everyone had gone.


Maybe she is shy today? Someone said of the motorized doll.  And there were a few nervous laughs but mostly biting lips.  Because she has to work, she must work and impress and if she doesn't then what?  I thought it so incredibly strange, so much riding on this little doll, so many millions of dollars, so many executives waiting for the right kind of 'wow' from this poor piece of plastic with tangled hair.  

When my friend and colleague carried the doll away, she clutched it by the arm, disappointed, let it hang limp at her side, the way a little girl would carry her baby doll through the world.  It didn't concern me so much as make me laugh.  I mean, how wonderful is this stubborn little doll?  This finicky, tangled little thing with its sneaky forever smile who has a mind of her own.

Winner of Small Damages Giveaway!

The winner of a copy of Small Damages by Beth Kephart is:

The lovely and talented Catherine Denton! (whose beautiful blog I adore.) 

I hope that those of you who entered will seek the book out.  It's such a beautiful, special book.  And when you read it, we must chat. :)

Catherine please email me your mailing address! thistooblog (at) gmail (dot) com.

New York Young- Photo Inspiration for Writers

It should be no secret (and it isn't now) that I discreetly photograph people I find interesting in order to inspire character. Look at her Converse boots!  Her hair!  I love her and I do not know her!  


I store these pictures in a folder labelled 'characters'.   Since I snap them quickly, half of them are blurred, most of them are faceless, and some of them are of a single boot (I have a thing for boots) or the perfect bracelet that I think a character might wear.

So, you can imagine, when I discovered this beautiful photo project from New York Photographer Amy Touchette which features outstanding portraits of New York City teenagers, I was like a kid in a candy store, devouring these professional portraits like I had just received a passport to character inspiration nation. 

I find these photographs incredibly inspiring and I wanted to share them here for anyone writing teen characters.

According to the Cara Buckley of the New York Times:

Ms. Touchette shot most of the photos in summer 2011, prowling the streets of Manhattan and Williamsburg looking for adolescents who were, in her words, "visually urban" -- colorful, slightly attitudinal, and the clear products of New York.

Since I don't have permission to share Touchette's New York Young project on the blog, please clickety click here if you're looking for a little character inspiration.

Where do you find character inspiration?

Small Damages by Beth Kephart: A Giveaway!

So happy-happy (because sometimes it is not enough to say it once) to celebrate the release of Beth Kephart's new book Small Damages.

My thoughts on this beautiful book are here.

The New York Times Book Review gave it this gorgeous review.

Beth has been a great friend and teacher to me, in this writing life, in this life-life. Her books are also great friends and teachers. I like to keep them on my over-stuffed shelves. I learn so much from every sentence.  I can't wait for everyone to experience the beauty that is this book, Spain and its characters, life full to bursting.


I am giving away a copy of Small Damages to one lucky commenter.  I'll announce the winner on July 26th.  Just leave a comment below!

Where Do You Go?

On this Road Trip Wednesday, YA Highway asks: When you need creative inspiration, where do you go?

I like the question because place is the largest driving force behind most of my writing. I have never taken a journey to find creative inspiration. I simply walk and live and, in doing that, I am inspired.

When I stepped back to think where that inspiration most often happens, I discovered that it is both near my home and near water.  I think I am still trying to understand why water sets my imagination free.  Maybe because it is vast and uncontrollable, difficult to keep, always moving, bending, emptying, swelling.  Maybe there is something within it I can not capture and so I try.

Below are some photos of the waters that inspire me. I am lucky to live just steps away from them.

So, where do you go?

New York Harbor (I live on the the Brooklyn waterfront)

Atlantic Ocean (from Coney Island)

The Gowanus Canal

Forever Guessing

I live in a city I love very much but it can feel loud, crowded, plastered in concrete. Sometimes I am desperate for relief. I need to see some green.

I don't have a car and escaping to nearby quiet can turn into an epic journey. A 26 mile trip to my home town, with all its various modes of transport and transfers takes just over 2 hours.  Technically, a certain Kenyan can run there faster (Geoffrey Mutai's fastest marathon time is 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 2 seconds.)

So, in an effort to find the nature I crave, I have come to accept the travel time.  I wait on oppressively hot subway platforms, stick to greasy subway seats.  I take the Sunday Times and read it cover to cover.  I devour entire books.  I make it happen.

Today Tyler and I journeyed one and a half hours to Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx to hike its trails.  We crossed the breezy fields, passed a cricket team clad in crisp, white uniforms.  A haze of hamburger smoke hovered over three generation family barbecues. We made it to the hare and tortoise marked trail, crossed over the highway (yes, in New York City, hikes involve crossing highways) and found complete solitude. Quite possibly because no one else in their right minds would take a hike...in the Bronx...in a wet-blanket soup of weather.  But I am nothing if not determined.

As we approached the end of our here we go loop-de-loop, we were greeted with the best kind of sound. Not the call of birds or the scamper of deer but a sound unique to a city full of life.  In a mess of trees and raspberry bushes and runaway black-eyed-susans in pink: a band bursting with song.

I don't know any other city in the world that can boast hiking trails complete with live concerts.  It's why I love New York.  It's what keeps me forever guessing, never knowing what I'll find.

Last stop on the 1 train

Hazy cricket

The Hare and Tortoise Trail

Sun sparkle through these skinny trees

Proof New York City is not entirely concrete

Surprise!